Wednesday, March 30, 2011

state of mind

this morning on the way to work
I found myself singing that old song
Oh what a beautiful morning
forgetting more than half the words and putting
the ones I did remember in the wrong order
it didn't matter at all
it really was a beautiful morning

at one point it dawned on me that one phrase I would
like to use in reference to the idea of home is:
state of mind
beyond geographical location
I can actually be at home anywhere at all
I can create a home anywhere at all
and that has always been a lovely challenge for me
can I start from a mess
perhaps a crazy space
a rental
an absolute void
throw in very little money
lots of willpower and imagination, some fabric, paint & plants, then
create something from almost nothing

those memories when I was able to pull it off make me very happy
they also hit me at times with a sense of
why can't I get it together now like I used to
and the answers come soon enough when I remember
where I have been

state of mind
as a home in itself
to stand completely alone in time and space
and say yes
I am alone and not lonely
can I even get comfortable with the idea of
letting living go at some point
will I be comfortable enough in the home of my soul
to incorporate that essential aspect of
a whole life
into a peaceful state of heart?

one goal that I set for myself in this new year
in my 2nd life
to have a student's mind towards every single person I meet
young, old, wherever we may meet at any given moment

there is much to be learned
there are so many incredible people to learn from
I believe that setting that goal has caused me to be
super aware
like I woke up
startled at the vast numbers of individuals
I am blessed to connect with

I know I miss many
but I try not to brush past them
to pay attention, push my hair back away from my eyes, seek to focus
in the Grand Central Station stream of faces in a blur

it harkens back to a chosen state of open mind
at home
and welcoming...

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