Tuesday, January 18, 2011

dancing around the fire

tomorrow is chemo day and I do
meet with my doctor
we will talk about kind of
"mapping out" in this new year
some steps ahead, bone scans,
CT scans, possible chemo-vacation
things like that

I see him and his nurse
every other week
I really love them
every person who takes care of me there
they are my family
in this 2nd life I live
this team
this life-saving
cry, laugh, hug, earthly-real,
surround me with protection

at the last Relay for Life
here in town
my cancer center
had a tent
I marched with the other survivors around the track
and when they saw me,
there was cheering
and I ran off the track and got hugs
and then I completed my
walk with more power
in my steps

I had candles lit for my friend in Georgia
and my cousins in Massachusetts
the bags were decorated by children
in schools here in Columbia
we are a bigger family than meets
the eye...

I get ready in different ways
before going in for chemo
part of it is very routine for me
so I try to be conscious of not just
going through the motions

there are so many people there every single time
maybe someone is lost in the maze
of figuring out where to go next
every single person who is there
has a story
and I want to be open to listen to help
to laugh to feel to live right then and there

even when I feel like crap
and then all of a sudden
there is a beautiful soul there for me this time
and renewed
I may get back out there in
the giving dept. of life

or let myself drift
into sleep
knowing that contentment
of not ever being alone
because we truly care
as we dance around our own fires
the collective fire too
gaining strength
to keep fighting

walking out the door,
I always say thank you
be back soon

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