Monday, August 15, 2011

with courage and grace

my friend and therapist Denise oftentimes
printed out "Daily OM" messages/thoughts
and finally after years of saving them
I decided to sign up and have them sent to me

a Daily OM

today the thought centered on the gray area
we dwell in at times
a monotone existence
a numbing place where emotions are sent away
and are replaced with activities
chosen to avoid really LIVING it all out loud

I do that I know I do

hmmm, History Channel calls me or one of the zillions of Law & Orders
how about spacing out in my thrift stores
I do actually say it to myself that I am zoning out
I do actually tell other people when I am doing it
it is an escape
perhaps a refuge from a storm

so many things have happened this summer
it seemed that there was never time to digest one event completely
before another wave came

I came home from work to an empty house today
very hungry so I set about making a meal
and I turned on the computer
at the table
and flipped around and decided to watch
The Royal Wedding
WHY on earth?
I love their beautiful youthful faces
I love the pomp and ideal circumstance of a beginning
tradition has its comfort factor
the choir sings divinity
through the voices of children
it breaks my soul open
and I also liked the trees in the Abbey...

ah and there are more boxes to unpack
far from castles with turrets
as I descend into the mist and fog of an oddly crispy bright
London day

it was someone else's day yet the planet's people
wanted a piece of it
wanted some peace through it
wanted to touch a moment in history
to call their own

no matter the messed up monarchy / we got them off our backs long ago
to the devil with the hypocrisy and the masks
and the very weird and quite artsy headgear
we want a true love moment
a fantasy in lace
and Cinderella's carriage
to take us away, too,
a land of hope and joy and love

I acknowledge my Daily OM's wisdom
and the fact that I am Exhibit A, the Poster Child
for Advanced Avoidance Activities

I laugh at and with myself

tonight I will accomplish something, some tasks
more than that, I want to accomplish
some internal advancement
perhaps read words that will challenge me to be more than
I am



  1. Funny, I just finished reading this article before I read your post:

    "Don't just do something; stand there;"

    From the article: "That it might be possible to arrange one's life so as to be slightly less frantic has somehow become unimaginable. And yet there is a great deal to be gained from doing nothing. We need space to brood and ruminate and mull. We need to slow down to get where we're going."

    So when you find yourself feeling spacey, just remind yourself that it might just be your creativity knocking!

  2. Paul, such comfort in your message, since what I "accomplished" after that post was absolutely nothing that one could "measure" or count or prove to myself that I didn't "waste precious time"... I went to bed early and that was important... thank you soooooo much