Saturday, May 21, 2011

so happy

isn't it amazing that we can watch plane travel in real time
seeing a little tiny airplane move across the screen
seeing in numbers the speed and altitude
going over Washington, Connecticut, New York, Maine then Canada
now of course there were a lot of in-betweens, but those
were the ones I made special note of

when I punched the key to see the
earth" view,
then it was the landscape more than the delineated map
there was the moment when that little tiny plane on the screen
big huge real plane in the air
carrying my first baby - and I felt a certain level of birth pain
watching him fly into open ocean
over the beautiful blue big pond of the Atlantic
and I just felt his freedom to fly
on his own
into his completely personal new life
as an adult
as a man
as the son I love
so happy to share stories with him
on the Way

his plane was over Great Britain when I went to bed

when I woke up and went back to see his little plane on the screen
he was four minutes from landing in Sarajevo!
then three
then 0
I wanted to see the word "landed" and fidgeted around
and finally was satisfied enough
that he had landed safely

that was about 7:15 am Thursday
Bryan and I went to his school talking all the way
and then I needed to get ready for work
fidgety seems like the word of that day
couldn't manage to be too far away from the computer or phone

spacing out on a tv show
I saw Brandon's cell phone number on the screen without a ring?
a moment later the phone again, a ring,
and it was Brandon!
I jumped up and could not believe it - there he was
at Mahdi's home with her and her Mom having a meal together!
Mom, she put 30 pounds of food in front of me and it is delicious!

his voice sounded so happy!
and it was like he was just across the counter from me in the kitchen
I asked to speak with Mahdi and her sweet voice was so happy too
in the background I could hear her Mom speaking
and she does not speak English so this was a new sound for me
and it was warm and strong and clear

Brandon told me right away that she was really really wonderful
so I had that in my heart as I listened to Mahdi's
translation of her Mom's message to me:

Brandon is here now and he is going to be fine.
I will take care of him - now that he is here,
he is mine.

I loved that! Started to cry - he is mine!
that is the best thing she could have ever said.
it made me laugh and cry at the same time...

Brandon said he felt so very comfortable
and if he closed his eyes he wondered if when he opened
them up again
would he find himself back in Missouri?
it was like a dream he was living

later in the day
he posted several photos on Facebook
and I could see him in Sarajevo, Bosnia!
Brandon with Mahdi
Brandon with Mahdi's Mom
Brandon with a little tiny kitten in his big gentle hands
his smile as big as his face could handle
a look that reminded us of his "happy dance days"
of his "little man of heart" days

it is a new person I look forward to re-meeting
when he returns
it inspires me to try to be a bit new too for him
for me and us

I am so happy
that he is...
and that we all have each other


  1. Thanks, Gloria, for sharing these special times with us...what a fabulous experience for Brandon...being welcomed into a family so far away...yet so close. What stories he will have to share with you when he returns!
    Love ya...Debbie

  2. Debbie, thank you for caring and for taking your time to read these simple recollections... recently in our Holistic Healing group meetings, there was a session that I missed. Later I found out that it was about the value of Writing / Journaling... I can't remember the actual title. Part of the presentation was about the value of doing writing for the sake of release, writing whatever the hell is in your head, as ugly or angry or whatever it is that is going on. Not to be read by others.... I understand that, and have chosen to write in my way, and it is truly healing and a happy way to be connected to you and other family/friends, far away but not really at all!
    love you closely, Gloria

  3. Oh Brandon is off on his beig adventure!! Love what mahdi's mom said--you can relax and know he's in good hands!!