Saturday, May 21, 2011

material spiritual world, material spiritual girl...

in our support groups, different topics would emerge
sometimes going in hard and deep
other times skimming the surface of a thought
especially in our advanced cancer
expressive art therapy group
where we all have issues to deal with that most people our age
do not

the phrase "putting our affairs in order"
has a certain depressing tone to it when I hear or say it
so I put another spin on the same reality
I want to "put things in motion"
and when one aspect of that means selling things and making money
I am creating a "fun-fund" so that we can use money for
having fun together, perhaps a trip that would make memories
and make me feel so rich from the experiences!

I work with the elderly and they talk about "materialworldliness"
in ways that make me laugh, reflect, and consider issues in my own life
what "things" have meaning to me personally
what has meaning to my family and friends
what do I keep to pass on
what do I donate now or designate for future gifts
not that I have so much of "value" monetarily
but that is not the main point...
there is deeply valuable essential meaning in simple things
that are connected to me
that my children would understand more than anyone else

I let some things go and feel happy about it
things that will also go on to have another life and that makes me feel happy
this coming Tuesday my friend Mike will come and pick up
probably my most wonderfully outrageous possessions: a Pagoda Swing
that I traded for a while back and did not think it
all the way through...
oh well, it has been fun to own it
but I could not find the right place to put it
and in the garage for months makes no sense
when the vehicle needs to be inside
hopefully it will be sold to someone who will love it
at least as much as I do!
I can let it go now, it needs a home in a beautiful setting
not a garage...

I need help with my art room life
I am going to ask for help
it is a block in my life that needs to be unblocked
once again, the material world
the material world girl that I am and enjoy being
but not to the degree of being overwhelmed with stuffness
that induces confusion rather than creativity
that is not healthy or healing for me at all
and putting some of these things in the hands of
other creative people will be satisfying and enjoyable
for all of us...

I am rambling around, trying to figure out my attitude
about a lot of things
such as wills and living wills and living in the moment
and the will to live, livingstrong
living joyfully givingstrong
and not waiting until it is too late
to find the answers
to some of the simplest earthiest loveliest questions

who am I
what am I creating with my life
what can I give
who can I help
how can I make value out of cancer entering our lives

I am reading a book titled:
Too Soon Old
Too Late Smart

a friend bought it and suggested it for our book club
I liked it right away because the title made me laugh
good points for discussion
good food for thought

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