speaking of finding a voice here...

...can you hear me virtually screaming?
might as well laugh about it at 2 in the morning
lost a message because I did some weird thing

I am trying to find what on earth it is that
I am trying to do here with this blog
It is all new to me
the same as when I learned to turn on the computer
send my first email
write my first page in a Word document
join my first Yahoo! group
and I never went beyond newbie status
in all of those formats
so I have a huge learning curve here on a blog
and want to dive in

yes, I will actually learn how to get photos up
by myself, I PROMISE

and I will begin to learn what it is I want to share
here
within myself
and with whoever might visit

found out today some great news:
on Feb 1st something totally new
for our cancer center is going to begin:
an 8-part weekly series of presentations on:
"Holistic Approaches to a Healing Life"
(I made that up / can't remember the real title,
blame it on chemo-brain coupled with excitement)
I am totally signed up

first topic: BLOGS {!!! yay!!!}
in between things like:
yoga, meditation, healthy food & supplements,
aromatherapy, etc etc
and wrapping it up with: ART THERAPY
and that presentation will be given by my friend
Nancy, a Chemo Nurse & Artist
(who also happened to be one of the earliest members
of our Holy Moly Mackeroly! Yahoo group...
small and very good world in stories like this)

as for this blog, I only know that I had to begin
it could not be one more thing that I thought about
and it stayed in my head
(my friend/therapist was holding me to it - whenever -
and that encouragement helped my hands get to the keys)

I am actually writing on my very own new
Christmas gift laptop
I told my husband that I had to write again

my son Bryan told me a couple of years ago
"It is time, Mom."
"Time for what?"
"Time to write... your third book."
"What would I write about?"
"You already know the answer to that."
"My cancer experience?"
He had a quiet smile...
I closed my eyes and reflected...

now here we are,
this is where I find myself able to write something down at least
after being verbally constipated for years
and I have no idea why I do not write
in sentences and use proper punctuation all the time
with capitalization being an issue for some strange reason
and stuff like that

I have not decided how much I want to go into
what has happened over these past 4+ years
I am looking forward to the presentation on BLOGS,
a chance for listening, discussing, reading other approaches,
and finding my own style and way.

how can I ever thank you for being part of this with me?
from my heart I send you a most personal hug - can you feel it?