Tuesday, September 6, 2011

"applied epiphanies"

"applied epiphanies"
I wish I had come up with that phrase!
in a conversation (yesterday) that spanned time and space
and stretched the time continuum beyond mathematical constraints
(my kids say crazier things than this all the time with each other)
the topic came up:

when we have epiphanous experiences
(I tried the get the adjective form of the word, thought I had it right
then spellcheck puts that red squiggly line under what looks like a perfectly
good word, hmmph.)
epiphanassic, ....astic, ...agical, like magical

when you have an experience that takes you right out of
mundane reality
knocks you around spiritually
shakes up the atoms of resistance to change
blows your mind out of complacency
and this can happen anywhere anytime
not just on January 6th for the Magi

we all have had epiphanies
a significant insight straight past boredom
straight through stupid
way beyond who we knew we were before
we became cosmic insighters

you know something so profound your whole life has
spun on its axis
maybe it was about time, you think,
and there I was at this wedding
it was October
tucked into a cozy backyard
and I cried because Love seemed so beautiful
so simple
so clear
so hopefilled
there was nothing else more real...

perhaps an illness
was part of the awakening
you look death straight in the face
and it is so peaceful and sublime
and then you feel terror
but the epiphany says to you:
"look, sweetheart, you've got a bit more time."
and even if it is only 15 minutes
you make this commitment
this Promise
I am going to change my life completely
the universe doesn't need one more jerk
it needs me to jerk away from my past
and breakthrough to new territory of the soul

I have had epiphanies when I was pregnant
I knew that I was not in charge of the miracle of life
five pregnancies
two children
profoundest sadness
intensest joy
to feel the little heel of my baby stretching us.
to hold a tiny hand that holds on
latching eyes and weaving spirits
laughing and in time
knowing together that we know almost nothing
so it is wide open trek land
adventures for us

I have had epiphanies with people and alone
sometimes just seeing a stranger smile at me
it bleeds my heart
blurs my vision
and there is suddenly no distance between us
a flower
a wave on a beach
a kiss
a glance
words in a book beautifully purely written
simple words spoken in a whisper of wisdom
the sound of a singing bowl
a stained glass window
breaking up the light of day
a crystal in my kitchen window
dancing spectrums of sunrays
from millions of miles away
that made it all the way to my window & eyes
past the trees in the neighbors' yard
for me
my pleasure
in the morning moment
if I am awake

yes, I can feel "enlightened" countless times
and here is the big deal question, I ask myself:
HOW LONG does it last?
I remember being at a friend's funeral service
and internally making notes about how wonderful
she was
and how I wanted to be a better person because of
having known her and having been inspired by her
strength and humor in the face of great pain
I think I lasted about two days

but I thought it would be forever

the intensity does subside
hopefully the essence is retained
I cannot "be her" yet I can apply the epiphany
in my unique style
I cannot be forever young
cannot live in this form forever
yet I can say that I want to forever be willing
and dedicated to changing and to growing

applying epiphanies makes them stick in consciousness
I want to be the one to smile first at a stranger
to actively seek a more loving Way
to recognize those who will teach me
and actively learn

and I will not stand idly by and watch an intrusion into
our peace
of mind and heart

I watched a mother robin spread her wings
during an intense rain storm
using her body to be the shelter for her chicks
with that natural of an instinct
how lovely life would be
if we grew up with
and lived surrounded by
that kind of support and protection

as powerful and almighty as an Epiphany may seem
it is also that vaporous and ethereal
yet the more we act on our visions
not simply theorize and verbalize
the more ingrained and intuitive our responses are

we are not in control of what other people
may decide to sling in our direction
through words or actions
we are not in control of all that factors into
it is the tiniest enlightenmoment
when acted upon
that defines

"When you want to cheer yourself up, go out and try to cheer someone else up."
~Mark Twain

Ripple Effects 101


  1. Beautifully written, my friend. It almost left me speechless.

    However, I did want to tell you that YOU inspire ME, the way your friend inspired you. You inspire me with your love, your kindness, your generosity, your fighting spirit and your tender heart. You have been a wonderful example to me for years now, and I thank you for being an example of goodness in a world that can bewilder the mind and wound the heart.

    I'm sending a big hug and lots of love your way...

  2. Melody,
    I sit here with the morning light touching the tops of the trees in the Midwest that I know you have come to love, as have I...
    To my right at the table, is a lovely card, made by you, emitting oceans of love all the way from a coast of memories. And right next to your card is another lovely one, and they came in the mail yesterday together... the calligraphy on the blue envelope is just beautiful, and the artwork represented on the card is a garden of flowers, sunflowers prominent, and a window... it could be San Diego, it could be Kansas, it could be both!
    Love you both,