so many stories

since last writing
so many stories
I could not sit myself down to reflect
it was all about getting through
getting focused
trying to make things work
even now, I struggle with the words of it all
because I do not want to miss the opportunity
to share it
yet the very act of trying to "capture" the dreams
of things past
has its almost-pain...
no words are there enough
in-those-moments-enough

if I had to distill it all into a handful of symbols on a page
I would gently pick up the cards written
by two sons
to each other
their graduation cards that Bryan signed for Brandon
and Brandon signed for Bryan

what they said to each other was more important
than all the speeches we have heard
at all the ceremonies
of a lifetime

it has been such an incredibly meaningful time
so unbelievably busy to the point
of a blur
there were piles of papers on tables all over the place
and we just did our best to keep on top of what
needed to be done next
there were times when it felt
like running the bases
sliding into most of them
and the score didn't matter
just to keep playing
get up to bat
and swing away

baseball has never been my game
watching
The Rookie today, guess that affected the vocab

Brandon is a college graduate
Bryan is a high school graduate
they are moving forward
with so much hope and support
and I am grateful to so many people
who shared this time with us in many ways

there are shiny balloons in the house
there are streamers and more balloons outside for one more night
and there are photos to testify to the fact that
this has all been "real"
even though I still wake up in the morning
and wonder
is it true?
yes, we lived this together

5-12-12 Brandon graduated from the University of Missouri
with a Bachelor of Health Science degree
5-19-12 Bryan graduated from David H. Hickman High School
and is enrolled at Columbia College
5-16-12 they celebrated their 22nd and 18th birthdays

watching 409 students with Brandon
and 558 students with Bryan
was so moving

and they all move forward in their lives
as do I
with a sense of happy quiet warmth
and when I remember those moments
of standing up and cheering with my whole self
for their accomplishments past
and especially for their futures ahead
I am honored to call them
my sons

"I am such a lucky Mom" I have said that countless times
"I am such a lucky boy" I have heard countless times
from two men
now