design

a desire came upon me to play around with the design of my blog
anything to do with "playing around" on the computer
beyond what I know
which is very little
is essentially unheard of by me in my own head with my own ears

I have watched Gary and Bryan over the years
with their experimentation, fearless pursuit of what might happen
if they keep going deeper wider closer as if jumping down
Alice's rabbit hole enjoying the ride especially
the part of not knowing where they might end up
what bumps along the way
yet very confident that the process will lead to something
NEW

instead of asking one of them to help me re-design here
knowing that I wanted a change
not any particular idea of what
I just started pushing buttons
that had words like "design" and had pretty color choices
and interesting fonts

I had to laugh at myself when I didn't even know what
anything at all was called when it came to labels
oh, that is the this-and-that, ok, so maybe that is the so-and-so
no, but it's interesting, hmmm, well, that set of colors
makes that happen, etc...

and so after a long time that went by faster than the clock indicated
I came upon a very simple look that looks like I want it to for now.

maybe it is chalk on the blackboard of life?
perhaps just the clean lines of black and white
simplifying
such a complicated intense time for me recently

de-cluttering on here when I am also de-cluttering the rest of
life around myself
hopefully it is not hard to read

it is funny to me to look at this now
me, the one who loves the colors of Mexican weavings
and yes
the essence of Japanese brush paintings
those contrasts dance in me

and so I pick up a white piece of chalk
and write simply
strip down the words
strip down my distractions
strip away old paint
leaving some wood exposed and rough
putting a new coat other places

always in search of the genuine

a touch of turquoise here and there on this new "canvas"
silver finger nails if you can believe it
hands and head finding new expressions
gradually setting aside the fears of
what if I mess this up

guess what
it never mattered
I gently remind myself
play like a child

and I always loved chalkboards
when they were slate, or tar, and now a screen...