moments & months

a number of times I started to write
and then the words fell
through the cracks of time

not with a regret exactly
more like being in a conversation and then realizing
the words coming from my mouth simply do not match
what I am seeing in my mind's eye
and so I close my mouth
and then realize from one moment
to the next
more than a month has passed...

there were such perfect moments during the three days
of Bryan's performance experience
pure crystals-in-my-heart's-window memories
can they be captured in words? no
yet not to try is to let them slip through
the fine white sands of time
in my hands

this day I have chemo and tomorrow I have off from work
the first thought is to write here
other thoughts include Christmas cards
and so many to-do-list entries

there is something that came up:
my physical/muscle heart needs more checking after a stress test last week
I have known that something is up
we shall see next week

for now, my spiritual heart is more my focus
and it is in the most fleeting moment
that time tells it's deepest quiet stories
when I am quiet enough to listen and
whisper back