snap

maybe there is such a thing as too much
opening up
at the same time
some times...

on Monday evenings we have our Book Club meeting
and bless all of our loving hearts
we definitely share on personal levels
and that makes it the best way to explore
a book
in between and all the pages
turned upside down and inside out
and it makes our books pop open in 3-D
real life
this is good stuff, it is raw stuff at times
and it tears pages from the book of experience
throws them in the fire
and makes us THINK about what do I do now
next
then read the pages coming up

on Tuesdays we have Holistic Healing group meetings
and there we learn seemingly endless ways
to aid our healing process
and it all opens my mind to my age old desire
to experiment and try it all
last night it was acupuncture
then there was energy healing therapy
and all the new age natural age what was meant to be
part of a rhythm (I can't spell that word!) of living

Wednesday afternoons we have Expressive Art Therapy
and it is a small group
and our cancer types bring us together
one might call us "terminals" or "late stagers"
one might not want to be around us when we bring up
topics like shopping for good deals on cremation packages...
we do such significant work on ourselves
like last week focusing on identifying our strengths
as well as looking at what we need to strengthen
in my case it was "self acceptance" for starters and I am not even sure
what I meant by targeting that on the list

emoting is healthy
yet it has its dis-benefits such as a feeling
of being over-exposed
and sensitive
a bit afraid of being way too honest at an inappropriate
time
a kind of
snap

it is tiring to be on guard
it is liberating to learn
finding the balance is one of those learning things